To fight or not to fight, that is the question

To fight or not to fight, that is the question: whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them.  We don't choose our seas, but we sure do build our boats.  

A sea of troubles???  Was your sea troublesome?  Why do you fight?  All fighters have a story.  As a father I"m often asked "If", in fact its expected by most, that my son will be a fighter.  Why? Well the answer is easy, his father is steering a boat that has parted the "black and gold" sea like Moses himself.  However that question isn't as simple as it is for most parents.  All parents use their sport/activity/hobbies etc to help mold character and structure in their children.  But this is different, I can remember my first coach Shorty saying for comparison that in baseball when you make an error the other team gets another base or scores a run or two.  In boxing, when you make an error you get punched in the face.  Fighting is not for everyone, period.  There is a reason only 1% of the population do so.  Fighters are forged through life experiences that they've overcome or built from the ground up brick by brick from day one.  Sometimes, just sometimes, violence is culture.

We don't choose our seas, but we can build our boat.  The stories I could tell you from the fighters I train would leave you speechless and have you never wanting to complain again, inspiring to say the least.  I fought because of alcoholism stemmed from a narcissistic drive for winning.  I have found myself as COACH the same way someone finds themselves as FIGHTER.  A combination of competetion and empathy has forged me into where I am today.  Yes I fought, but coaching is my calling.  To me, winning is love.  It's a sickness that runs very deep that I will dive into in my next blog.  This one is about whether a combat sports coaches child should fight.

The father-son bond in combat sports is a very fine line to walk.  A line that I'm unsure of I want to walk yet am very aware that I might have no choice.  Fighting is culture, violence is culture for us.  It's literally how I feed my son.  If I lose too often I won't have a job.  When discussing the father-son relationship with Tommy Yankello he stated that the last thing he wants is a relationship with his boys like Floyd Mayweather Sr. and Jr. have had.  They've patched things up since but everyone knows the history of those two.  The reason Tommy stated this is because like stated earlier fighting is not for everyone.  The training and technique of a fight is, but actually physically fighting under the lights is for a very select few.  There lies the problem.  How do you prepare your son for battle against people who have had choppy seas while they have not.  You do it brick by brick from day one.  You create a competetive atmosphere that is 2nd to none and that is the fine line to walk.  How do we prepare them with a level of accountability thats necessary yet still be dad.  It is a very fine line to walk.  A line I see with other fathers who mess it up all the time.  Then theres some who hit grand slams.  Shane Mosley has a very good relationship with his father as do alot of world champions.  Locally I admire the relationship Darren Cassidy has with his sons.  Both boys are as competetive as it gets and still are very close with dad.  Perhaps a lunch bromance date is due to get some advice lol.  It's a challenge I'm looking forward to if it ever presents itself.  Key word there is IF.  I don't care if Rory fights a day in his life.  He will be a martial artist because this is our cultured vehicle of morality and man should be strong to protect and serve.  I'm very aware that he probably will fight at the entry level to some degree or another but its entirely up to him when and if he ever does, and how far he takes it.  However when the time comes if he decides that this is what he intends to do then he will be treated as all of the others.  Coach/father first, friend second.

Culture has lead us here.  My family was known for fighting.  At a Christmas a few years ago my cousin Sara who is in the air force so I only see her every so many years stated "Hey cuz it's pretty cool you turned all this fighting into a career, most of us just get arrested".  When I realized WHY I was coaching, I knew very few would have what it took to compete against me.  At that point, I went all in.